Yesterday was probably the worst day ever for me and James. He is teething, and is on a roller coaster of pain, screaming, yelling, temper tantrums, crying and just general frustration. I do everything I can to console him, love him, medicate him, play with him, appease him and discipline him. But--let's just say that yesterday was ROUGH. I feel so bad for him because he knows exactly what he wants to say to me, but he doesn't know the words. As frustrated as I got, he must have been REALLY FRUSTRATED not being able to express himself with his words.
Anyhow, I got some late notice of a gathering of the mommies from playgroup for one of their birthdays. I decided to head on over. Keep in mind that I was not in a good state of mind and I was nauseous (as usual) so I wasn't in a great mood. I kissed James night night, kissed Chris and headed out the door.
When I arrived at the restaurant, I sat down, and all of a sudden, amidst all of these women, I found myself taking a big, deep breath in, and RELAXING. I think I might very well have needed a little change of pace. That made me feel terrible in and of itself, because of course, I love James to pieces. BUT--having some social time with my friends was pretty good, and I needed it.
About 8:30pm I was thinking about heading home. I reached into my bag to get my wallet, and this is what I saw:
It was James' little Hess motorcycle dude. I almost started crying. At that moment, I was filled with a sense of guilt for needing a break, and all I wanted to do was scoop my little boy up and give him kisses and hugs. Why are we moms so hard on ourselves?