Saturday, January 26, 2008

Breathe In, Hold It, Breathe Out . . .

Yesterday was probably the worst day ever for me and James. He is teething, and is on a roller coaster of pain, screaming, yelling, temper tantrums, crying and just general frustration. I do everything I can to console him, love him, medicate him, play with him, appease him and discipline him. But--let's just say that yesterday was ROUGH. I feel so bad for him because he knows exactly what he wants to say to me, but he doesn't know the words. As frustrated as I got, he must have been REALLY FRUSTRATED not being able to express himself with his words.

Anyhow, I got some late notice of a gathering of the mommies from playgroup for one of their birthdays. I decided to head on over. Keep in mind that I was not in a good state of mind and I was nauseous (as usual) so I wasn't in a great mood. I kissed James night night, kissed Chris and headed out the door.

When I arrived at the restaurant, I sat down, and all of a sudden, amidst all of these women, I found myself taking a big, deep breath in, and RELAXING. I think I might very well have needed a little change of pace. That made me feel terrible in and of itself, because of course, I love James to pieces. BUT--having some social time with my friends was pretty good, and I needed it.

About 8:30pm I was thinking about heading home. I reached into my bag to get my wallet, and this is what I saw:

It was James' little Hess motorcycle dude. I almost started crying. At that moment, I was filled with a sense of guilt for needing a break, and all I wanted to do was scoop my little boy up and give him kisses and hugs. Why are we moms so hard on ourselves?


Life of a Banana said...

Anyhow, I got some late notice of a gathering of the mommies from playgroup for one of their birthdays. In that sentence there shud b a THE in there. It shud b: Anyhow, I got some late notice of a gathering of the mommies from the playgroup for one of their birthdays. Thats wat i think.

Redhead in Vegas said...

i am happy to read that i am not the only one that has the teething/i need a break guilt. my daughter is going through the same thing and i fell so bad for her, but come 5-6pm, i am ready for bed. she is at her grandma's house right now because i have a a killer headache. i have called twice in the past 2 hours to see if she is ok. why do we do this to ourselves?

i guess because we're moms. :)

Allison said...

Banana, when you can get 100%s on your spelling tests, then you can tell me how to write. Didn't you see your Mom's post? Now, if I was swimming the 400 back, and my form was crappy, you could correct me, since you are such a great swimmer. HA! Redhead--I hear you. Teething is hard to cope through!

Gini said...

Allison - here is the funny part - she does get 100 percent on her spelling tests - its just all that in between stuff! Anyway - the teething thing doesn't stop - Hannah is getting her molars and is just as grumpy as Garrin!! That's what a nice trip to Auntie Gini's is for anyway.