Tuesday, February 9, 2010

My Complete and Utter Fall off the Wagon

* * * WARNING * * *

If you are attempting to diet, or have sworn off sugar, or chocolate, or you think my instructions on how to make one of the simplest and yet most decadent deserts I have ever made will force you to run to the kitchen to start making it, I take NO RESPONSIBILITY.

Okay, that said, now back to my post. Look at these:

This is called Chocolate Bark. I was randomly thinking about it the other day, as I ran across a mention of it on a friend's blog. And then I couldn't get it out of my mind. (sigh). Let's back up a bit.

Last Friday I had to visit my Doctor. Just a routine exam. No biggie. When the nurse weighed me, I did the usual roll-my-eyes-and-groan and stepped on the scale. I was pretty happy with the result. "That should be at least ten pounds less than last year." I said. The nurse looked up at me from her paperwork and said "At least? Honey, that's 24 pounds less than last year!!" (Alright, maybe she didn't say "Honey," but it sounds good, and I happen to like a colorful story!

OH BABY. I skipped out of that office, smiling a big, goofy smile and dancing on air. I now weighed less than I did when I got pregnant with Ella, or with James for that fact. I was so darn proud of myself that I told this same story to everyone who would listen. My Dad, my friends, my family, the mailman, the crazy lady at the checkout . . (no, I didn't.) But I wanted to!

So that was Friday. Well, back to the Bark. I decided to make it for Super Bowl Sunday. I made two pans of it. And . . . well . . . I think I ate ONE WHOLE PAN MYSELF. So that loss of 24 pounds? I think it will have been short-lived. So, I am sharing the recipe with you, but if you think it will take you off course, I beg you, DON'T MAKE IT. And if you do, don't bring me any. (OK, maybe just a little).

Ready for the ride? Let's go.


Pre-heat your oven to 350 degrees.

Line two baking sheets with tinfoil, and place Saltine crackers in a single layer.

Set a saucepan to medium high and add four sticks of butter.

Then add 3/4 cup of brown sugar and 1/4 cup white sugar.

Bring it to boil for just a minute.

Remember those saltines? Pour the butter toffee mixture over the saltines.

Put the sheets in the oven for ten minutes. I rotate the pans at the 5 minute mark. They'll come out all brown and bubbly.

Next get some chocloate, either 2 bags of Nestle morsels, or you can use Hershey Bars. After the sheet pans come out, put the chocolate on top of the crackers, and pop them back in the oven for a couple of minutes--just long enough to soften the chocolate.

Next chop some nuts. Whatever you like. I use that awesome Pampered Chef chopper. Got one? Get one!

Now, take the sheets out of the oven and with a spatula, spread the chocolate evenly over the saltines. (Honestly, I didn't have as much chocolate here as I wanted.) I would have liked to have had twice as much.

Next sprinkle the chocolatey goodness with the nuts. Or if you don't like nuts, skip that step altogether.

Place the baking sheets in the fridge or in a cold place so that they candy can set up for a few hours. After that, peel the bark away from the tinfoil and break into pieces.

Next? enjoy, hoover it like crazy, eat it for three meals a day, put it over vanilla ice cream, what have you. Me? I'm getting back on the treadmill!

You can find more fabulous foodie finds over at Balancing Beauty & Bedlam's Tasty Tuesday Link Party!


Busy Bee Suz said...

This looks so amazing!!!!! 4 sticks of butter? I can't hardly get past that part.
How the heck did you lose 24lbs? diet? Exercise? I would love to lose 10lbs, but just can't get my butt in gear. Now, I will have this bark to keep me down!! :0

Jayne said...

I haven't eaten anything like that for 10 years, and even I was salivating! How simple and amazing looking! I may have to tempt everyone I know with this... keep them under my spell...lolol! I am so printing off this post and keeping it under wraps!

Hey, as for the 24 pounds... YOU GO GIRL!!!!

Holly said...

Congrats on the weight loss! I'll have to try this if I can ever lose that much!

Thanks for the comment on my blog. I discovered your old blog via Stephanie's site a while back, just in time for your "end of the story" post. I remember thinking 'oh darn' because it was such a lovely blog (even though I totally understood your reasons). I'm glad to see you're back to blogging. I'll be reading")

jwdfrench said...

My stepmother, who is from England, makes this recipe. It is a family favorite. You can store it in the fridge and it is yummy!!!!!

Kristen said...

Thanks for posting this Allison, I was just thinking about these the other day and was trying to remember the source - I will be printing it out this time and making them for sure.

Boutique Girl Gifts said...

I made a similar thing with matzo during passover for a co-worker's birthday "cake". Amazingly simple and DELICIOUS!

Allison said...

Emily--great idea to use it as a cake!!