Yesterday was a hard day for my Dad, my sister, my grandparents and I. I know we were all thinking about Mom all day. She passed two years ago on February 17th and I remember that day as a blur. It is tragic losing a parent, and even more so when you aren't at all expecting it. I have a lot of feelings about her death, but mostly I try to remind myself to celebrate her life instead of mourning her absence.
I was looking at some old photos and found these two that are remarkably similar. The first is of Mom holding my little sister Amy:
The second is Mom holding James when he was just six weeks old:
What do I love most about these photos? You know it--her smile.
In her poem "Remember" Christina Rossetti's last two lines say,
"Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad."I don't know that I think of Mom any less, but I try not to be so sad.
It may sound cliche, but remember to tell your family how much you love them, because one day you may no longer have the chance.
I told my Dad the other day that even though I had a truly wonderful, almost idyllic childhood, right now what I am most grateful for is the adult relationship I had with my Mom. Talking with her about motherhood, about parenting, about juggling work and home, about the weather, about recipes--those things are what resonate with me right now.
Like any teenager and young adult obsessed with themselves, there were a few years where I was not close with my Mom. Once I grew up a little and got out of my own way, I had the wonderful opportunity to look at her as a friend. I am so glad that I did.
I love you my Mother, my friend. And I smile while I am writing that.